Yea, big difference. Now I love the military, but the thought of my son giving his life for our country both makes me proud and terrifies me at the same time. 

Day in and day out, he watches YouTube videos of training and how to physically and mentally train to prepare for the most challenging training of his life. 

One afternoon after class, he was listening to a seal give a speech.  He was talking about extensive training that his men had to do to complete their seal training.  The men had to do a night swim in the ocean.  The instructors informed them about all the sharks and its danger.  However, to become a seal, you need to complete the swim.  

The instructions given to the men doing the night swim were as follows: “If you encountered sharks, do the following: If a shark circles you, do NOT swim away but stand your ground and show no fear. If the shark comes toward you, punch them in the nose with all the force you have, and the shark would swim away.” 

The soon-to-be soldiers would be facing a lot of sharks in life. They need to be ready to meet their sharks and overcome their fears to complete their assignment.

They had three choices.  Quit and walk, Fight and grind, or die in their fear.

This training was a great analogy of life and made me think.  What areas in my life are sharks swimming, and I need to stand firm and punch them in the nose?  We all have sharks to get past if we plan on accomplishing the goals we have.  The sharks won’t go away.  The question is, what will you choose to do?

Quit and walk (Wondering what it would have looked like if…)

Fight and Grind (You know it will be scary, but you are willing to face fear, and even if you fail, you will get up and do it again until you win…)

Die in fear (Allow fear to paralyze you and stay where you are…)

I refuse to quit or allow fear to keep me in an unwanted place.  So, it’s time to grind.

Is what your capable of doing.

Motivation

determines what you do.

Attitude

determines how well you do it.” ~Lou Holtz

A journey to a healthier lifestyle does not have to be painful or extreme. Understand your ability, know what your motivation is, and get your attitude about your self in check. A negative outlook leads to negative results. So love yourself in the process and remember small changes are still changes.

When I finally found the place, I was eager to serve again and jumped in with both feet.  Once again, serving on the media team, hospitality, kids ministry, and so much more.  There was not a Sunday that I was not busy at church.  I loved serving and being at the church and 

I wanted my kids to share in that passion, so I lead by example.  After a year or so, I was hired on staff and continued to juggle all the balls. 

“I can do this I will do this. I am working for God, what an honor.”  There was a fulfillment that only comes from knowing you are doing kingdom work, and nothing compares to that joy and satisfaction.

But soon, the honeymoon phase was over, and my slow fade started.  Within five years, the very thing I loved more than life was the same thing that was tearing apart my family and sent me spiraling down into a deep depression.

I was a prisoner to ministry serving man and no longer God.  Something had to change; I was functioning but miserable. 

I decided to step down from all ministry obligations and resigned from my job.  I went on hiatus for a full three years to find myself and discover God all over again. I needed to know where I went wrong and why he allowed my family to suffer at the hand of ministry. 

Here is what I discovered.

“Do you not know?

Have you not heard?

The Lord is the everlasting God,

the Creator of the whole earth.

He never becomes faint or weary;

there is no limit to his understanding.

He gives strength to the faint

and strengthens the powerless.

Youths may become faint and weary,

and young men stumble and fall,

 but those who trust in the Lord

will renew their strength;

they will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not become weary,

they will walk and not faint.” ~Isaiah 40:28-31

The great revelation for me was “just because I can does not mean I should” I am not God.  I don’t have all the power and all the strength.  I will get weary if I am running myself into the ground trying to stay busy for God instead of serving when or where the Lord had placed me.  I wanted to prove so badly that I loved to help and was reliable that I forgot to love and serve my family in the process.  I stopped trusting in the Lord and started depending on my skill and strengths then wondered why I burnt out.

It was then I resolved to set boundaries and learn balance.  I never want to lose sight of the order of things again God, Family, Ministry.  We serve God thru ministry but should never sacrifice ourselves or our family on the altar of ministry.

I wish I had understood that back then.  Then maybe the warning signs that I was in danger of burnout would have been clear, saving my family and me many heartaches.

 Here is how it happened for me and in the exact order.

1. Drive: I am a very driven person; I like to get things done, and I want them done to an excellent standard.  If I saw a ball drop, by nature, I would pick it up and run with it, no questions.

2. Motivation: I wanted to serve God full time and do great things for the kingdom, not just be a “glorified secretary,” so I did everything that came my way to prove my worth in hopes of being able to switch positions. (not a good motive, and I did not even realize that until it was too late)

3. Drained: Coming to the office was a chore.  I felt utterly drained and could not wait to go home. The day had not even started.

4. Short Fuse: Being in ministry is a team sport.  Your part of a team and the whole team needs to be on the same page to function correctly.  I found myself getting critical with my teammates, annoyed with my leadership, and short with volunteers.

5. Apathetic: I turned off all emotion and felt nothing. I started going thru the motions to get things done and check the box but was numb to why I was serving or even working at the church.  Depression began to take over, and I refused to admit it.

6. Self-medicate: Food became my drug of choice. Eating my emotions, I gained almost 90lb’s, causing me to hate myself more.

7. No Rest: time off and vacations gave me no rest; it was like I never had time off.

8. Isolation: I started to withdraw from friends, leadership, and people.  I just wanted to be left alone “people sucked the life out of me.”

9. Resentful: Felt lack of appreciation and value; therefore, was resentful and critical of leadership and their decisions.  I was no longer running the race with them; I was slowing them down

10. DONE: I was 100% done.  Let go of everything and walked away in defeat and overwhelming depression.

If you fall in too more than one of those ten categories and find yourself fighting daily to do what you once felt called to or what brought you joy.

It’s time to take a step back.  Look in and ask yourself, WHY am I doing all I am doing. Can I release somethings? Is this my calling, or am I doing it because I can (skillset)?

Then instead of isolating, contact your pastor and have a sit-down.  Allow them to speak to your dry bones and help you reconnect with God during your business. Their job is to lead you.  Allow them to do that.

Then run to your father’s arms with complete trust and allow him to fill you up.

 ^“but those who trust in the Lord

will renew their strength;

they will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not become weary,

they will walk and not faint.” ~Isaiah 40:31

If you trust in God and his direction for your life, you may have seasons of exhaustion, but he WILL renew your strength. Don’t let Ministry Burnout take you out. Find the balance, set the boundaries, and remember your serving God, not man. God, family, ministry.

This year was a tough year on lots of people emotionally, physically, financially.  It has tried us in ways we don’t care to be tried again. It’s time to move on and many are looking forward to the new year to do just that.

Instead of looking forward I decided to look back.  The new year is not going to magically fix the troubles of the world but I wanted to see how I could make my new year better than the one I just walked. 

My resolution was to change my thinking. Our attitude and how we respond to what is happening around us is half our battle.  It affects our drive, can hinder or propel our motivation, it can sink us into a depression or give us the fuel we need to launch into our next mission.

Resolutions placed on things or circumstances don’t seem to last.  Maybe that’s because circumstances change, life changes, and so does our moods, and attitude. Leaving us emotionally unstable.

Since it’s Fit Friday let’s talk about health goals. At the start of January gyms become packed for about 8 weeks. Filled with all the people who swear on making a lifestyle change…and have great intentions but then they slowly fade.  Healthy eating habits are on the top of the list and slowly die like our dream to fit into those cute jeans. It’s so much easier to grab and go then it is to meal prep and plan.  But truth is nothing we want in life happens by accident. It all takes hard work and commitment.

If we played sports in our younger years, we did not make the team by accident.  We prepared, we trained, and we maintained.  Our persistence got us there but our commitment to our love of the sport and team kept us there.  If we had a job opportunity, we worked our tail off for.  Our persistence got us there, but our commitment kept us there. 

What I am saying is resolve to focus on your commitment to a healthier mind set.  Our physical bodies will only go as far as our mental state allows us to go.