Surprised at his comment, I shut off the camera and said, “I am just exercising, bud, not changing myself.”

Spencer looks at me and says, “Why are you unhappy? If God made you perfect, why are you trying to change how he made you.”

“Bud, God did not make me fat. I did that all myself, so I need to change that too.”

“Mom, your still perfect,” and he walks away. 

Sometimes we must be reminded that how we see ourselves is not how God sees us. We are his perfect creation with our flaws and all. 

shall renew their strength;

They shall mount up with wings like eagles,

they shall run and not be weary,

they shall walk and not faint.” ~Isa 40:31

This scripture has been a song in my heart for a few months now. The thing that has stuck out to me is the word wait. How can I wait on the Lord? So many people confuse waiting with doing nothing and seeing what happens. As I looked up what it means to “wait,” this is what I read according to Merriam Webster as a verb “to wait” means: “to stay in expectation of.”

Think about that, to wait in expectation of; that means heart filled with hope and prospect that something you’re expecting will happen.

I don’t know about you, but I look forward to date night. With the demands of work, children, and sometimes ministry obligations, my husband and I have learned to make our marriage a priority by carving out date nights every month. But, let’s be honest, it can be easy to neglect our spouses in the day-to-day business of life.

We decided to set our dates in the calendar and honor those days with no excuses to prevent that from happening. 

As those days come, Matt and I get excited in anticipation of our alone time. Most date nights, we run out of the house and decide what to do as we are pulled out of the driveway in a blind fury to escape phone calls and “momtruptions.”

However, other evenings I’ll get a text, “find something nice to wear for our date this week we have reservation” When I get those texts, something in me comes alive. Thoughts relentlessly race through my mind of how I plan to ready myself in such a way that I have my husband’s undivided attention the entire evening.

It will be a memorable evening—something he planned ahead of time just for us. My heart leaps with excitement and anticipation of what is to come.

I shop with excitement and vision, ensuring my ensemble has just the right vibe. My hair should be on point; jewelry is delicate yet enticing. Every time I walk past Matt, my perfume should seduce his senses. Yes, I plan it perfectly and then wait for that evening to arrive.

Why would I go through all that trouble, one may ask? Simple because the chase is fun. A deep desire peaks at the opportunity to entice my husband as if we were newlywed. To see the spark in his eye while we playfully flirt across the dinner table. The sly, mischievous smile screams his desire for me in silence and tender touches that set all nerve endings on high alert.

Evenings like those can be magical, reigniting dry places in a marriage, restoring what busy schedules and demanding children have robbed from you. In one night, you’ve recharged the relationship, and your intimacy burns with life, and through the process, we waited.

If we can wait and meticulously prepare for a romantic evening with our spouse trusting and knowing the outcome will be beautiful. Why do we have a hard time waiting on God in these same dry places we try to hide? The areas we have no control over? (like reservations we knew nothing about but prepared for)

Places of transition, pain, anxiety, or loss. The areas we desperately need answers to while the pressure of life continues to bear down on us, trapping us under the weight of uncertainty. Why do we feel the need not to prepare but to control and take matters into our own hands?

We can say it’s simply fear of the unknown. However, I would say even fear of the unknown stems from the same place, lack of trust.

Jer 29:11 Says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Life is full of both challenges and expectations. We try so hard to achieve greatness in all we do. We want to be great moms, wives, employees, or business owners. The problem is that not all things have straightforward ways to achieve greatness or stability. Babies don’t come with directions on their feet on caring for them and not fail. Being a wife does not come with a handbook on how to combine two different worlds and make them one in perfect unity all the time. Life does not come with a guide on preparing for a loss of a parent or loved one. Yet all these things are a part of our life. We feel like we should have them under control, but when something goes wrong, we are shaken and feel as though we are left sailing through dark waters with no light.

We desperately try to find our way out while angry waves slam against our boat, rocking us from side to side, tossed by confusion and surrounded by options that don’t guarantee us the safety of solid ground. Yet we still fight the storms; we continue to take the wheel in our hand and fight until we are shipwrecked. Then looking around, I wonder why we are there.

 It does not have to be that way. Do we not prepare for the evening when our spouse surprises us with reservations somewhere? Can you imagine how the evening would go if we came out of our room dressed in yoga pants, hair tossed back in what once resembled a ponytail while he was dressed to impress. Can you imagine the look on his face if you said: “ok, let’s go? I decided it would be better to grab a burger and coffee instead. I am not sure ill like where you were heading, so I changed the plans.”

I could be wrong, but I am willing to bet most women would be more than happy to be surprised with a romantic evening out. The thought of taking over his special night or imposing our agenda would never cross our minds. Why? Because our spouse knows us, loves us, wants to draw close to us, and bless and protect us.

So how much more does the Lord? If we can change our perspectives from the problems storming around us to the God that goes before us, we will remember his promises. We may not know all that lies ahead, but He does, and even when things are grim, unstable, uncertain, and scary, if we trust the Lord and wait on him, he will renew our strength; he will give us clarity, direction, and peace because His love for us is more profound than the love of our spouse. All we have to do is trust him and wait.

“In everything, set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness, and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.” Titus 2:7

Whether you are a teacher of God’s word or a teacher of any other subject in a school, your responsibility is great and does not stop at teaching a subject.  Teachers mold minds, touch hearts and develop character.

A couple of weeks ago, I sat across from my childhood best friend at our local Barns & Noble.

With a warm late in hand, we discussed family, life, and career changes. This woman is amazing.  She is a wife, mom of two wonderful boys, high school English teacher, and pursuing her masters. Yet, she is driven, organized, never stops developing herself, and is incredible at what she does.

While discussing obstacles we face in our careers; I said

“You don’t do what you do because “you make the big bucks”; why do you do it?”

Without hesitation, she responds. “To make a difference.”

Although that is an appropriate answer, I challenged her.

“I think it goes deeper. For example, when we were in high school, which one of our teachers inspired you?”

The conversation was terrific as we walked down memory lane and identified the teachers that had the most significant impact on our lives.  These teachers created a vision, inspired greatness, taught perseverance, stood beside us and NEVER above us. In addition, these teachers showed integrity, strength, wisdom, humility and ran their room with a firm hand when needed.

They challenged us to think critically, grow in our strengths, develop our weaknesses, and no matter what happens in life, never give up the pursuit of our dreams (there is always another way).

The lessons we learned molded us into the women we are today, and we could not be more grateful for all they poured into us.

 While we sat back and admired how amazing they were, I looked at her and said.

“someday, your students will sit in a coffee shop like this and say the same about you.  You are inspiring change, not just teaching English.  You are the product of what our teachers poured into us; because of that, you will make a difference.“

Our high school teachers modeled the example scripture set for us in and out of the classroom.  They did not beat us with a bible or preach to us.  They did not lecture us in God’s word or our religious preferences, even though we were in a private school.  But they instead modeled integrity and uprightness in their everyday behavior.  Their character was consistent, and they touched the lives of every student that came through those doors.

Some food for thought. If you have a child or children in school, pray for their teachers. Pray that they inspire from a place of love.  Pray that your children see integrity and strength, that their words will always uplift, encourage, and challenge their students. 

Continue to pray that each child’s life they touch would be a testimony to how God used them to make a difference and that they would not get weary in doing what is right.

Then take the time to give back by thanking them for all they pour into our children so selflessly.

Have you ever heard someone say, “we will never get married once you tie the knot; your love life is dead.”? I have. I also remember feeling the same way at one time.

One day I looked at my husband from across the house and felt he was a roommate and not my spouse.  I had no idea how it happened or when. But it was like all of a sudden; we woke up strangers.

I remember thinking, “wow, those comments were true. Is this it?”

Marriage is romantic and desirable, a dream, for most women, starting as young as we can remember. 

But the reality is that we are attracted to the romance, intimacy, partnership, and idea of spending life with our lover and best friend.  We are not thinking about their imperfections or trials that we will (not may) face as a couple.  We are not thinking of our shortcomings or idiosyncrasies that will cause turmoil.

Or even the day-to-day grind of working full time while juggling the children’s needs, family, or friends, scheduling in our self-care, and there are also ministry responsibilities in some homes. Yet, somewhere in that schedule, we are supposed to fit the person we choose to spend the rest of our life with. 

How do you keep the spark alive? The big secret is proper care. I knew something had to change when I felt I was married to a stranger. So I cried out to God for help, sought council, and learned something profound and straightforward.

Nothing in life would remain alive without “proper care.” Plants wither and eventually die without water and light; animals won’t survive without food, water, and proper care. Try driving a car without gas or correct maintenance (oil change, breaks, etc.). 

If the things we enjoy or rely on in life need attention to maintain their purpose or function, isn’t it safe to say marriage is the same?  Sometimes a marriage requires a good tune-up, not a tune-out.

Simple changes changed my marriage.  Serving my husband (properly caring like a plant giving him what he needs) with the right heart started changing the dynamic of our marriage, and he began to do the same for me. The more I was available for his needs, the more he was attentive to mine—the spark of romance burst into flames like a wildfire. Marriage is not about our spouse meeting our needs, but how we can meet the needs of each other.  If both parties took that stand, neither side would wither away.  Romance would stay alive.

Matt and I want our children to know what a healthy marriage resembles.  Therefore, we have no problems showing affection, flirting, cuddling, and even sharing a kiss in the privacy of our own home. However, the boys will often say, “UGH… you’re so gross, stop flirting with mom.” we laugh at them and respond, “We can flirt all we want! We’re married and love each other.” Then, in protest, they say, “You’re gross!” Our prayer is they grow up, get married, and properly care for their marriage to one day hear “you’re gross” from the little voices of their children.

Beautiful Peacock self-assured you dancing feathers seduce me with each shake.

There is a strength in your sway that captivates my senses.

Beautiful Peacock, the refraction of iridescent colors enchants my eyes

As a beautiful sunrise on a late summer morning.

Beautiful Peacock, your confidence alludes to me, your strength entranced me.

Summonsed by your elegance and beauty, move closer, be mine. ~JW

 Finding a mate is an essential part of life’s cycle.  Without one, there are no offspring. 

For example, a male peacock has beautiful showy feathers.  Yet, not all males are equal.  Some have longer and more beautifully colored feathers making their train breathtaking, especially when they fan out.

When trying to attract a female (the peahen), they “tail rattle” (tail shake) or fan their feathers to display their beauty. The peahen chooses a mate based on attraction, and they have offspring cycle continues. 

We, humans, are wired similarly and behave much the same.  We have the need to attract the opposite sex to attract our mates, so we are not alone. We crave intimacy and companionship.  We want to be desired and courted.  All of which are typically acceptable behaviors and feelings; this is how God created us and for a purpose.

Ladies, we are the Peacock.  From a young age, we groom ourselves in preparation for attracting “the one.” Get our hair and nails done, wear make-up, nice lotions, and perfumes.  So, we can appeal to a man’s senses like a peacock shaking his beautiful train to attract a mate.

But courtship today looks much different. It reminds me of a safari of animals in heat trying to claim their mate, establish the dominance of whom has the best pedigree. Instead, school grounds have become a jungle, and the hunt is starting earlier.

One evening while searching my son’s phone, I discovered a seductive and inappropriate picture of a beautiful young lady.  I had lost my mind and had a stern and lengthy talking to him.

I wanted to send the image to the girl’s parents to speak to her about the dangers she is setting herself up for at the early age of 14. If this had been my little girl, I would have wanted to know. So with that, I reached out to the administration in hopes that they would address the family and help protect the girl from terrible consequences.

I realized that night my son was facing so many dangers younger than expected, but so was this young girl.  My heart broke for her.

Why do young girls feel the need to expose all of them to gain a guy’s attention? Worse, why do they expect they can appeal to a boy or man’s sex drive with no consequences and target males as perverts? If you are going to shake your train, you are calling for that attention. What has happened in a culture where young women no longer value their bodies but instead use them as tools to feel the temporary closeness in hopes of filling a more profound love?

What happened was the media.  The media has painted the picture of romanticizing sex.  Articles in magazines you can get over the counter showing girls things like How to please a man in 10 steps and make a man crazy for you in 5 easy steps. Our young ladies start feeling inadequate and fall for the trap laid before them so they can be desirable.

Music artists rap about sexuality being a tool, a function of getting what you want from a man and sending them packing.  They have demonized males labeling them as pigs and perverts for looking at their half-naked bodies. But the truth is they are doing what is natural-looking.  Now don’t get me wrong, there is a big difference between a man being provoked to look and a guy being disrespectful and a pig. I don’t condone men sexualizing women at all. However, the boundaries in today’s culture are so smeared that our kids are treading muddy water.

Children are not perfect.  They will try to find their way.  They will do dumb things, make stupid mistakes and learn and grow from them. 

But it’s our job to show them how to navigate these murky waters. It’s our job to teach our boys self-control, respect, self-respect, humility, integrity, and a moral compass.   In the same, it’s our job to show young women they need the same. 

Our young women should not think because the media portrays it ok to shake your train feathers, attracting as many mates as possible; they have arrived at true beauty and desire.

Our boys need to be taught to be men of integrity and stand up for what is honorable and right in the face of temptation.

When I think of how broken this world is, I realize that it will only offer our children broken answers.

We need to be consistent in offering wholeness. As for me, I will teach my son to respect, honor and love women as God expects of him. To be a man of integrity and speak life to the broken places in his friend’s lives, male or female. I pray that he will not fall into the traps set before him but will lead those around him away from them.  

“You are of God, little children, and have overcome them because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.” 1 John 4:4 ~NKJV

Can you imagine the power we would walk in if we truly believed that the God of the universe is in us and is greater than the problems of this world? What would it look like If we had half the resolve a child has at times?

Have you ever noticed the perseverance a child has when they are passionate about something? They refuse to give up until they have their way.  Now, of course, not everything they fight for is good for them, and it is our job to teach them safety, wisdom, reason, & patience. But we can often learn from them too.

            One afternoon I was catching up on life with a good friend.  It had been months since I closed my daycare, and I used to care for her kids.  So naturally, she had to share what her daughter was up to, and I could not wait to hear. Isla is a strong-willed, independent, beautiful little lady and full of sass.  Her mother would often joke that I could keep her for the amount of attitude the child has. 

 While we were talking, she said to me, “did I mention that Isla fired the moon?”

 I looked at her puzzled and said, “ugh, no?” she continued

 “Well, it was bedtime, and I called her to come to bed.  “Your daughter”( I know the sass is coming when she refers to her as MY daughter) ignored me, so I called her again, and she responded.”

“No thanks, mom!”

I said, “Isla, it’s time for bed. She looks at me and says

“Mom, I fired the moon” Smiles and kept playing.

I died laughing.  There was a problem, and Isla was happy to deliver a solution. Not only did she answer, but she believed that the power was within her to do such a thing. 

The image in my head was priceless. I could see one hand on her hip the other in the air waving while she looked at her mom very matter of fact to deliver the big news.   I am sure her mother did not find it as cute as I did, but I looked at her and said.  “She has leadership skills and is 100 your daughter! “  

Sometimes we need to look at life from a child’s perspective and be bold.

 “You are of God, little children, and have overcome them because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.” 1 John 4:4 ~NKJV

 We will face obstacles and have troubles, but they are not bigger than the God within us. Nothing can stand before us; we don’t already have the authority and power to put on notice. We just simply need to be willing to speak it out and declare it as is. 

What are the obstacles that are standing in your way? It’s time to start believing you have the authority to fire the moon and put your obstacles, challenges, and troubles on notice “because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.”