COFFEE.  I needed a VENTI hot latte with an extra shot of espresso and a dash of cinnamon. Something to relax my nerves and warm my soul. 

Naturally, I called Matt (my husband) to make my request known on his drive home from work. He refers to a Starbucks run as a “state of emergency.” Mom needs coffee, stat!  A coffee run mid-day usually lets my husband know the kind of day I am having so “state of emergency” is an accurate description.

Anticipating that first sip, I pace the kitchen waiting for his arrival.

The list of “to-do’s” continues to grow in my head when he walks thru the door.  Coffee! Ahh, now it’s time to regroup and breathe. 

 Enjoying my first sip, my oldest son, still living at home, says,

 “ Good job, dad! Happy wife, happy life.  She was grumpy!”

 I shot him a look from across the kitchen, but Matt quickly replies

 “happy spouse happy house.” I looked at him puzzled when he continued to explain to our son.

“ I love your mom and enjoy making her happy.  But she does the same for me.  It’s not about one person being happy.  It’s about taking care of each other”

Ethan nodded at his father and walked away. I took the opportunity to jump into his arms giving him the biggest hug.  Matt is a man of little words. But when he has something to say, he says it.  

I had never thought of that before. We often hear “ Happy wife happy life” but Matt was correct.   Marriage is not about what the other person is giving you but about what you bring to each other.  

What he is saying when he walks through the door from a long day with a cup of coffee in hand is: 

“Thank you for all you do to take care of me, our home, and our children. I love you.”

What I am saying when I have his lunches packed, dinner made, laundry is done, and or get up early to have breakfast with just him is:

 “thank you for working so hard outside the home to provide for us. I love you.” 

Happy Spouse Happy House means putting my husband’s desires before my own, and out of love, he does the same for me. Love is an action.  A happy spouse equals a happy house.

I can’t wait to hold that creamy, hot latte with a dash of cinnamon; it warms my soul and perks up my sleepy eyes. Always a great start to my morning. 

Today 6:00 am came too soon. Shouting across the house for the boys to stop fighting and get ready for school, I quickly reached in the cabinet for a mug and let out a chuckle.  The Mug read, “OMG my mother was right about everything.” 

I can remember a time where my mom was “wrong about all things,” “She didn’t understand,” and when I grew up, I was going to “do it better.” Well, if that’s not funny, I am not sure what it is.  I find myself repeating the same lines that were said to me. 

 “Clean your room…you don’t have slaves.”

“Did you do your homework?”

 “No, you are not staying over anyone’s house I don’t know.” 

Oh, and shocker. My kids say the same thing, “but mom, you don’t understand…”

Listen, ladies; we won’t be perfect parents, so don’t kill yourselves trying.  Kids are not born with instructions on their toes.  We will make our fair share of mistakes, so give yourself a little grace.   

One day our children will be grown men or women, and when that day comes, we will hear –

“Wow, mom, you were right!”

Our wisdom will be received and valued.

For now, we must roll with the punches. 

I will continue to listen to my children’s complaints echo through the halls knowing that this season won’t last forever.

“Boys, this is the last time I am going to say it…sign in and be ready for school.”

Then reaching for my phone, I decided to call my mom.