Beautiful Peacock self-assured you dancing feathers seduce me with each shake.

There is a strength in your sway that captivates my senses.

Beautiful Peacock, the refraction of iridescent colors enchants my eyes

As a beautiful sunrise on a late summer morning.

Beautiful Peacock, your confidence alludes to me, your strength entranced me.

Summonsed by your elegance and beauty, move closer, be mine. ~JW

 Finding a mate is an essential part of life’s cycle.  Without one, there are no offspring. 

For example, a male peacock has beautiful showy feathers.  Yet, not all males are equal.  Some have longer and more beautifully colored feathers making their train breathtaking, especially when they fan out.

When trying to attract a female (the peahen), they “tail rattle” (tail shake) or fan their feathers to display their beauty. The peahen chooses a mate based on attraction, and they have offspring cycle continues. 

We, humans, are wired similarly and behave much the same.  We have the need to attract the opposite sex to attract our mates, so we are not alone. We crave intimacy and companionship.  We want to be desired and courted.  All of which are typically acceptable behaviors and feelings; this is how God created us and for a purpose.

Ladies, we are the Peacock.  From a young age, we groom ourselves in preparation for attracting “the one.” Get our hair and nails done, wear make-up, nice lotions, and perfumes.  So, we can appeal to a man’s senses like a peacock shaking his beautiful train to attract a mate.

But courtship today looks much different. It reminds me of a safari of animals in heat trying to claim their mate, establish the dominance of whom has the best pedigree. Instead, school grounds have become a jungle, and the hunt is starting earlier.

One evening while searching my son’s phone, I discovered a seductive and inappropriate picture of a beautiful young lady.  I had lost my mind and had a stern and lengthy talking to him.

I wanted to send the image to the girl’s parents to speak to her about the dangers she is setting herself up for at the early age of 14. If this had been my little girl, I would have wanted to know. So with that, I reached out to the administration in hopes that they would address the family and help protect the girl from terrible consequences.

I realized that night my son was facing so many dangers younger than expected, but so was this young girl.  My heart broke for her.

Why do young girls feel the need to expose all of them to gain a guy’s attention? Worse, why do they expect they can appeal to a boy or man’s sex drive with no consequences and target males as perverts? If you are going to shake your train, you are calling for that attention. What has happened in a culture where young women no longer value their bodies but instead use them as tools to feel the temporary closeness in hopes of filling a more profound love?

What happened was the media.  The media has painted the picture of romanticizing sex.  Articles in magazines you can get over the counter showing girls things like How to please a man in 10 steps and make a man crazy for you in 5 easy steps. Our young ladies start feeling inadequate and fall for the trap laid before them so they can be desirable.

Music artists rap about sexuality being a tool, a function of getting what you want from a man and sending them packing.  They have demonized males labeling them as pigs and perverts for looking at their half-naked bodies. But the truth is they are doing what is natural-looking.  Now don’t get me wrong, there is a big difference between a man being provoked to look and a guy being disrespectful and a pig. I don’t condone men sexualizing women at all. However, the boundaries in today’s culture are so smeared that our kids are treading muddy water.

Children are not perfect.  They will try to find their way.  They will do dumb things, make stupid mistakes and learn and grow from them. 

But it’s our job to show them how to navigate these murky waters. It’s our job to teach our boys self-control, respect, self-respect, humility, integrity, and a moral compass.   In the same, it’s our job to show young women they need the same. 

Our young women should not think because the media portrays it ok to shake your train feathers, attracting as many mates as possible; they have arrived at true beauty and desire.

Our boys need to be taught to be men of integrity and stand up for what is honorable and right in the face of temptation.

When I think of how broken this world is, I realize that it will only offer our children broken answers.

We need to be consistent in offering wholeness. As for me, I will teach my son to respect, honor and love women as God expects of him. To be a man of integrity and speak life to the broken places in his friend’s lives, male or female. I pray that he will not fall into the traps set before him but will lead those around him away from them.  

 COFFEE.  I needed a VENTI hot latte with an extra shot of espresso and a dash of cinnamon. Something to relax my nerves and warm my soul. 

Naturally, I called Matt (my husband) to make my request known on his drive home from work. He refers to a Starbucks run as a “state of emergency.” Mom needs coffee, stat!  A coffee run mid-day usually lets my husband know the kind of day I am having so “state of emergency” is an accurate description.

Anticipating that first sip, I pace the kitchen waiting for his arrival.

The list of “to-do’s” continues to grow in my head when he walks thru the door.  Coffee! Ahh, now it’s time to regroup and breathe. 

 Enjoying my first sip, my oldest son, still living at home, says,

 “ Good job, dad! Happy wife, happy life.  She was grumpy!”

 I shot him a look from across the kitchen, but Matt quickly replies

 “happy spouse happy house.” I looked at him puzzled when he continued to explain to our son.

“ I love your mom and enjoy making her happy.  But she does the same for me.  It’s not about one person being happy.  It’s about taking care of each other”

Ethan nodded at his father and walked away. I took the opportunity to jump into his arms giving him the biggest hug.  Matt is a man of little words. But when he has something to say, he says it.  

I had never thought of that before. We often hear “ Happy wife happy life” but Matt was correct.   Marriage is not about what the other person is giving you but about what you bring to each other.  

What he is saying when he walks through the door from a long day with a cup of coffee in hand is: 

“Thank you for all you do to take care of me, our home, and our children. I love you.”

What I am saying when I have his lunches packed, dinner made, laundry is done, and or get up early to have breakfast with just him is:

 “thank you for working so hard outside the home to provide for us. I love you.” 

Happy Spouse Happy House means putting my husband’s desires before my own, and out of love, he does the same for me. Love is an action.  A happy spouse equals a happy house.

I can’t wait to hold that creamy, hot latte with a dash of cinnamon; it warms my soul and perks up my sleepy eyes. Always a great start to my morning. 

Today 6:00 am came too soon. Shouting across the house for the boys to stop fighting and get ready for school, I quickly reached in the cabinet for a mug and let out a chuckle.  The Mug read, “OMG my mother was right about everything.” 

I can remember a time where my mom was “wrong about all things,” “She didn’t understand,” and when I grew up, I was going to “do it better.” Well, if that’s not funny, I am not sure what it is.  I find myself repeating the same lines that were said to me. 

 “Clean your room…you don’t have slaves.”

“Did you do your homework?”

 “No, you are not staying over anyone’s house I don’t know.” 

Oh, and shocker. My kids say the same thing, “but mom, you don’t understand…”

Listen, ladies; we won’t be perfect parents, so don’t kill yourselves trying.  Kids are not born with instructions on their toes.  We will make our fair share of mistakes, so give yourself a little grace.   

One day our children will be grown men or women, and when that day comes, we will hear –

“Wow, mom, you were right!”

Our wisdom will be received and valued.

For now, we must roll with the punches. 

I will continue to listen to my children’s complaints echo through the halls knowing that this season won’t last forever.

“Boys, this is the last time I am going to say it…sign in and be ready for school.”

Then reaching for my phone, I decided to call my mom.