Yea, big difference. Now I love the military, but the thought of my son giving his life for our country both makes me proud and terrifies me at the same time. 

Day in and day out, he watches YouTube videos of training and how to physically and mentally train to prepare for the most challenging training of his life. 

One afternoon after class, he was listening to a seal give a speech.  He was talking about extensive training that his men had to do to complete their seal training.  The men had to do a night swim in the ocean.  The instructors informed them about all the sharks and its danger.  However, to become a seal, you need to complete the swim.  

The instructions given to the men doing the night swim were as follows: “If you encountered sharks, do the following: If a shark circles you, do NOT swim away but stand your ground and show no fear. If the shark comes toward you, punch them in the nose with all the force you have, and the shark would swim away.” 

The soon-to-be soldiers would be facing a lot of sharks in life. They need to be ready to meet their sharks and overcome their fears to complete their assignment.

They had three choices.  Quit and walk, Fight and grind, or die in their fear.

This training was a great analogy of life and made me think.  What areas in my life are sharks swimming, and I need to stand firm and punch them in the nose?  We all have sharks to get past if we plan on accomplishing the goals we have.  The sharks won’t go away.  The question is, what will you choose to do?

Quit and walk (Wondering what it would have looked like if…)

Fight and Grind (You know it will be scary, but you are willing to face fear, and even if you fail, you will get up and do it again until you win…)

Die in fear (Allow fear to paralyze you and stay where you are…)

I refuse to quit or allow fear to keep me in an unwanted place.  So, it’s time to grind.

One day while driving home, my youngest son John asks 

“Mom, when God doesn’t pay attention, is that when bad stuff happens?”

I take a quick peek in the review mirror and smile, saying, 

“Johnny, God is always paying attention. He knows all the bad stuff that is happening, but he does not control us.  He gives us the freedom to make our own choices so we can choose to love him on our own. When people make the wrong choices sometimes, it affects others, not just them. Other times things happen, and we won’t know why or understand.  We need to trust God is good and will work it out even if it’s scary or sad.”

Small silence “oh, I thought God got distracted or something.”

I let out a chuckle and said, “No, bud, humans get distracted but not God. Just remember to keep trusting him.”

It’s funny how kids process.   We are still in the middle of a pandemic, and although he is six years old, he is fully aware of the devastation and inconvenience this pandemic has made on the world. From sickness to isolation and inability to be in a school building or play with friends, he can only describe his frustration as God not paying attention.  After all, he sees God as a superhero, so why has he let all this happen?  The reality is that even at a young age, kids need to learn the importance of keeping their eyes on God. He is learning to trust him in every situation, even if he doesn’t understand it.  Teaching that to them is also a perfect reminder for us to walk it out. 

Poisons dart frogs are pretty cool animals. I got to teach my daycare kids about them during our rainforest month, and the kids loved them. They are tiny little things about an inch big, bright, bold colors like yellow, blue, some reds, and have fantastic markings. They are so small, super cool to look at, and are strikingly beautiful. However, their skin holds enough toxins to knock out a grown man.

As I was teaching the daycare children about these fantastic frogs, my youngest son chimed in. “Mom, they are so tiny. What if something hurts them or eats them?  How will they protect themselves?”

Instead of explaining the circle of life, I simply said. 

“God made the elephant and the dart frog.  He gave the elephant super strength and size to protect himself, but he gave the dart frog cool colors to warn predators that he was poisonous.  If a predator eats him, they will get sick or even die.”

“AWSOME” a typical boy response

That day I thought of a time I sat in a hospital bed while a nurse spoke to me about the tattoo on my arm that states faith over fear. After telling her the story as to why I decided to put that on my arm, she said 

“I love it! My husband has a tattoo that is cool like yours.”

Naturally, I ask, “What is it?”

She begins to explain, “Well, he likes frogs.  So, he came home one day with the word FROG on his arm with tree frogs on it. I was shocked and asked why in the world he would put the word frog on his body. He replied, “oh, it means FOREVER RELY ON GOD- FROG. It will give me something to talk about when people ask me the same thing you did.”

Brilliant, the man is brilliant. Just like God equipped the dart frog to protect himself and cares for all the birds in the sky and animals that roam this earth, he will care for us. 

Just remember whenever we get a little stressed and can’t see the beginning from the end, FROG- Forever Rely On God.

Goku is what they call a “sayien,” and he is known for defying the odds, training to be the best, never giving up, shattering his limitations, and overcoming all obstacles that stand in his way.  He is the one who brings people together and sees the good in everyone believing even the villain deserves a chance to prove he can be virtuous.  

It’s no wonder why he is Spencer’s favorite character. One night while I am working on my new book, I hear the boys having a discussion. 

John states, “ Spencer, I want to be strong like Goku and have his superpower.”

Spencer’s reply kind of shocked me; I had no idea he felt that way.

“John, I have been praying and praying that I would be strong and have superpowers like Goku, and I don’t…It will never happen, so don’t bother thinking about it.”

Now was my time to chime in; it sounded like a perfect mom moment to me.  I got up from my chair and walked to the living room.

“Hey, Spencer.”

“Yea, mom.”

“Did you know you are just like Goku?”

“Mom, I don’t have superpowers.”

“Spence, do you know what his superpower is?” He gets excited and starts to explain.

“Yea, his muscles he strong, and he can fly….”

“No bud, although that’s cool.  His superpower is his heart.  He has a good heart.  He always does what is good and right.  He forgives people, even the bad ones. He stays true to who he was created and meant to be, and he never gives up no matter how hard things get. Sounds just like you to me.”

My little guys jumped off the couch and gave me a big hug.

I finished with this thought Goku was not born the best warrior on his planet. He grew into a great warrior.  That took time, and you are well on your way.

We need to learn to stand before we can walk, walk before we can run, run before we can sprint. Be patient in the process and never give up.  Keep staying true to who God created you to be.  You have a heart just like that.

He gave me the biggest smile and said 

“Ok, mom, your the best,” and he ran off to suit up in his warrior gear.

 “No discipline seems enjoyable at the time, but painful. 

Later on, however, it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” ~Hebrews 12:11 CSB

I have four boys, and all of them were diagnosed with ADHD. Before their diagnosis and putting them on a low dose medication correction was a constant thing in my home. You would often hear these word echo thru my house,

“Full body listening, keep your hands off your brother, eyes on me, when do we listen, or finally you guys have too much energy; you need to work on your self-control,” 

It made for very long, emotionally exhausting days, Especially for them.  They often felt defeated, or they failed because of their lack of self-control and constant discipline. 

At times I would also go to bed feeling the same.  

“Have I failed my children? Do I make them unhappy? I wish I did not have to correct them so much.  I just want them to feel loved.”

After battling my insecurities, I gave myself a pep talk. I decided that if I plan on successfully teaching my kids to understand correction, I needed to change my perspective and model it.

 The scripture says: “it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” Hebrews 12:11 

Well, if correction is like training, it’s safe to say God is our coach. He will lead us to grow when we have become complacent or too confident in our abilities that we feel we no longer need coaching.

Character building is like training your body to compete athletically. It is painful, exhausting at times, and it takes commitment to better yourself.  If you don’t have the discipline to see past the present discomfort, you will not reap the benefits of future results. So, yes, at times, we will face the uncomfortable truths of correction. No matter how painful it may be, how we view and respond to these situations matter.

One rainy day I was driving with my youngest son John to pick up one of my other sons from a friend’s house. John had some concerns he needed to address, and I guess a rainy car ride was just the place.

“Mom, I wish I did not have lots of energy. I hate it.  Why do I have to have so much energy?”

Imagine the thoughts racing through my head while I know the answer to the question I was about to ask.

“John, why do you hate it? What’s wrong with having lots of energy?” 

Peeking at him through the rearview mirror, I see him staring out the side window, deep in thought.

“I always get yelled at, mom.  It makes me sad.  Why do I need energy if I am just going to be in trouble?”

I took a moment and answered.

“Buddy, God made you perfect.  Even with all your energy.  I am sorry I can’t tell you why you have so much energy, but having it is not bad; you just need to learn to control it.  That takes time, and eventually, you will learn”.

“Ok, mommy.  But I am just telling you I don’t like it.”

The rest of the ride was silent, and I thought of how we adults are no different than my son.  We don’t like the feeling of inadequacy or failure either and avoid it at all costs.

But if we know that correction is suitable for our children. Given only to strengthen them, their character, and done out of love. Why do we focus on the negative side of correction when we need to receive it?   It develops our character, strengthens our weaknesses, and our father does it, or allows it out of love. 

Scripture tells us, “The one who follows instruction is on the path to life,

but the one who rejects correction goes astray.” Proverbs 10:17

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be like my children and run from correction.  I want to be the mom that embraces it and models that for them. 

That means it’s time to change our childlike perspective and trust in the process of correction.

We need to follow instructions and be confident in the direction our coach has given us. 

If not, we are in danger of walking down the wrong path. A path of ignorance and self-pride that keeps us in that downward spiral of self-loathing. (not an attractive look)  

It’s better to choose correction and grow from our mistakes than to sit and ignorance and refuse to grow.

Not sure about you, but I want my children to see me walk in obedience and grow from correction rather than have them see me have an adult size tantrum while God drags me through the changes. Let’s lead by example, showing our children how to accept correction and know they are loved.

Me: “Babe, where are we going for date night?”

Matt: “Im not sure where would you like to go?”

My youngest son, John: “Mc Donald’s.”

Me: “Um…Bud you cant go with us it’s date night.”

John: “I know, mom. You can still go. It’s mommy, daddy, & Johnny date night!”

Me: “Nope! Mommy daddy time. We will take you out later.”

Suppose you are married, challenge yourself to pencil in a date night once a week or once every two weeks. Create a culture in your home that time with your spouse is special and valuable. Your children will grow up holding on to those values and honoring them.

Our marriage should be a reflection of Christ’s love for his church. It’s important to model that for our children. After all, they will love their spouse the way they see us love ours.