In my book Interrupted, I refer to us moms as “super moms, running on super mom strength,” But every super mom needs a home base team to operate out of successfully.   The Avengers have a place; the Incredibles have a place; even spiderman had his “home base.” So, we are no different.

One morning at drop off a daycare parent said to me 

“I don’t know how you do it. You’re a one-woman show…teaching your kids remotely, caring for other people’s kids, helping care for an elderly parent, staying fit, and writing your books.  How do you do it all?”

 I never thought of it before that day.  But the answer is simple.  I have a solid home base.  

I can do what I do thanks to God, my super-secret elixir (coffee), and the support of my incredible husband. It’s the trifecta of my powerplay, and without it, my incredible mommy skills would fail.  No matter how much I can accomplish in a day, I do better when it’s an all-team play. 

God keeps me grounded and fills me daily, coffee keeps me motivated on my lack of sleep, and my incredible husband Matt reminds me that I need to fill my cup before I pour it out. 

Although Matt works two jobs, he still finds a way to show his love to me by helping me in the home.  Nothing says I love you like serving each other. We both have full schedules, work hard both in and out of the house, and appreciate each other for what we do. For these reasons, both of us make it a point to try and make the other person’s day a little easier. 

Being married just about fifteen-year Matt has picked up some tall tale signs of when mom needs a break.  When he sees those warning signs, he is quick to intervene and spare the family a mom-size freak-out resulting from lack of rest.

Matt simply kicks me out of the house and assures me, “I’ve got the kids and house” He encourages me to go to the gym, read a book, have coffee with a friend, or do nothing. He doesn’t care what I do as long as I return home rested with a smile on my face. 

His help allows me to regroup, refocus, and refresh by stepping away and fully resting.

Rest days are essential to maintaining sanity and balance.  If we regularly serve others, including our family, we need to make sure we are well-rested; if not, we are of no use to anyone else.  Whether your spouse can give you a break or you need to get a sitter for the kiddos, make sure you are taking care of yourself first, mamas. Then you can continue to pour into everyone else.

Speaking from experience, I was guilty of some of those statements myself. During that time in my life, I was overworked, underappreciated, burnt out, and unhappy.  No good to anyone, yet I kept trying to be everything to everyone. My pastor used to tell me, “Julie, you have many talents, but you can’t do it all and do it all with excellence” Instead of heading to his wisdom, I took it as a challenge to prove him wrong showing him my value as a staff member.  However, that led me right to ministry burnout.  

One exhausting night I picked up a book written by Lysa TerKeurst called “The Best Yes.”

This book was filled with information I already knew but chose to ignore. However, it opened my eyes to the significant impacted my choice made on my spiritual well-being by choosing not to change my behavior.

The simple lesson was the importance of saying no. 

We all have endless amounts of responsibilities; however, How and when they get to be executed matters. When we say yes to something, we are saying no to something else, so before we give our yes away, we need to ask ourselves what we are willing to sacrifice on that to-do list.

We want to live a life of peace and balance—no stress and chaos. So, before we give away our “yes,” hold it thru the filter of how will this impact my overall day and week? What am I sacrificing by taking this task on?  How will it affect my attitude, family, and well-being? If any of those answers are negative, you may want to reconsider your “yes” and be honest with yourself and the people around you.  Balance and boundaries are not something you find. It’s something you create. Be intentional with your time. It’s precious.  Making healthy boundaries in our life creates balance in our day-to-day routines.  It also shows others where the line ends and begins. It creates clarity, and people know what to expect from you.  It also prevents burnout and confusion. Now and then, we will have to make adjustments to our schedules, especially as the seasons change.  However, the truth remains the same.  Maintain a healthy lifestyle, and spiritual well-being starts with balance.

 As Lysa stated, “The decisions you make determine the schedule you keep. The schedule you keep determines the life that you live…”

 Let’s be women that live our best life and know our “Best Yes.”

Yes, you have dishes in your sink

And piles of laundry to be folded.

Dear mom, 

Yes, the kids are unruly

And yes, very demanding

Dear mom,

The phone doesn’t stop ringing 

And needs are endless

Dear mom,

Supper may be late

Your to-do list may not be done. But you haven’t failed

It will all be there when you get back.  

Shut the door to the mess and chaos.

Walk away. Take a breath and some time for yourself. 

Go for a run or work out. Hide in your room with a book or music. Take a walk or soak in the tub.

Dear mom,

Your well-being is just as important as everything else you “have” to do.  So, remember to take care of yourself because no one else will.