Good Intentions

Growing up, I was famous for getting in trouble for things I meant to do or complete and never got to.  Distractions or over-commitment were my worst enemy. 

My mother would tell me, “Julie, good intentions are not good enough; they are only intentions. I am not looking for your good intentions; I am looking for you to finish what needs to get done.”

I would storm off to my room angry that she did not understand I had meant well but “ran out of time” Or “someone needed my help” why didn’t she appreciate what I “tried” to do?

As an adult, I realized one of the things that stood in my way of success in weight loss was good intentions.  I mean, who gains one hundred and eighty pounds and is happy with it.  Not me, that’s for sure.  So, naturally, I set goals, made plans, tried diets, supplements, gyms, prescriptions, yet nothing seemed to be working out for me.

When I was finally desperate enough, I joined CrossFit, and it changed my life. Not because it was a magic fix or because I was a rock star athlete.  But because CrossFit revealed that my weakness was in my intentions and lack of consistent follow-through.

Let’s look at the five most common barriers that hinder us from achieving our goals.

• Time. Let’s be honest; we all have the same 24 hours in a day.  However, how we spend it is different.  Some of us have highly demanding jobs, a spouse, children, two jobs, a single parent with multiple jobs, the list can go on. Life’s demands make finding “time” to eat healthily, shop healthy, and exercise such a significant barrier to many people. 

The truth is we will make the time for the things that are important and matter to us the most.

So, the journey will start when we place value on our health.  That value will have a place in the order of importance to our daily lives.  From there, we adjust our schedule to accommodate the changes needed to achieve a healthier lifestyle.

• Unrealistic Goals. We have all, at some point, looked in the mirror and said something needs to change. We are motivated to make changes and often expect these massive changes too fast. For example, we want to lose a large amount of weight in a short period or expect big athletic gains before mastering smaller scaled ones. Unfortunately, this frame of thinking sets us up for failure because when we don’t attain the goals we expected, we are quick to feel defeated and give up. Saying, “why bother? This lifestyle will never work for me” does that sound familiar?

It’s not that you are unable to attain the goal.  It’s that how or when needs to be adjusted. Goals are progressive, and the processes of achieving them should allow flexibility.  Be patient and ready to make changes along the way.  Trust the process and start achieving your goals. 

• Support, Support, Support. Let’s be honest.  If we are looking to lose weight, we are not happy with how we see ourselves.  Hearing others say, “your beautiful the way you are, you’re not heavy, you have curves, or you don’t need to lose weight; your fine the way you are” Does not scream understanding or support, and although our friends and family love us and mean well we feel alone. 

Having a support system goes a long way.  They can encourage you, keep you accountable, or train with you. Without support, we can lose motivation quickly and again give up.

• Convenience. Who wants to drive an hour to a gym after a long day of work, grabbing kids from school or sports? Not this girl.  Convenience is another barrier we face because it affects our lifestyle.  How far is the gym from where we are? What time are the classes? How long are they open? I won’t go to the gym, but where can I put workout equipment in my home?  I don’t have room in my house to exercise, or the kids won’t leave me alone.

If exercise becomes a burden, just another task to check off the list, we won’t do it.  Most of us with busy schedules need to find a form of exercise that will conveniently fit into our busy lives. If we can’t make it work, we will never adhere to the changes.

• Ambivalence. It’s a love-hate thing. 

We experience ambivalence when we have mixed feelings about something. How many of us have heard or said, “I would love to exercise, but it will cut into the little time I have with my family or friends. (I was guilty of this) I always felt that my kids would miss out, or I didn’t want to miss an opportunity to go on a date with my hubby or plans with friends.

Being ambivalent only allowed me to make excuses for my lack of commitment to my health.  I put the needs of others before my own.  The truth is If we schedule a few days a week to care for ourselves, not only will they understand, but they will learn the value of maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

I hope this helps you discover your barriers. 

Keep an eye out for the following post, Breaking Barriers, to get ideas on how to break the barriers that hinder our progress.