The woman with the issue of blood thought, “if I could touch his robe.” Mark 5:28

These two stories have one thing in common. Both hid from the Lord in shame. One naked and the other unclean.

Shame can be triggered by failure or inadequacy, as well as guilt. It is a powerful emotion that, if not dealt with, keeps us in a place of self-isolation or hiding. It becomes the way we either punish ourselves for our mistakes or feel we “protect” ourselves from the judgment of others.

For example, you are trying to quit smoking. However, you cave and buy a pack of cigarettes on a particularly stressful day. Instantly you feel guilty. Your mind races with all the people “you have failed,” from God to friends. You will wash your hands, spray perfume, and hide the smell, so no one finds out. Then tell yourself it was only one time and “they wouldn’t understand it won’t happen again.”(hiding)

If God does not condemn or shame us, why do we do it to ourselves or others? 

There is no freedom in shame. There is no growth in self-condemnation or shaming others. It’s an unhealthy tactic that leaves us isolated and broken.

Scripture says, “Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not conceal my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the lord,” and you forgave the guilt of my sin.” Psalm 32:5

Something powerful happens when we admit our faults, we experience freedom from guilt that causes us to live in a place of shame. God is a God of grace, mercy, and love. Not one of shame and unforgiveness. So next time you feel you failed and are too ashamed to show face. Ask the Lord to lead you and guide your steps as you overcome the bondage of shame. 

^“Above all, my brothers and sisters, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or with any other oath. But let your “yes” mean “yes,” and your “no” mean “no,” so that you won’t fall under judgment.”- James 5:12

Have you ever heard someone complaining about their workload because they took on extra work in the office? Or maybe complain because they offered to watch someone’s kids for a few hours when they did not want to. If you asked them why they offered to do something they didn’t want to do, the answer is usually one of these two “They needed my help, and I didn’t want to let them down.” Or “they had none else to do it.” Both answers are equally as wrong. If they said no, the person asking would find someone else, and if not, they would have to do it themselves or face the consequence. But instead, they find someone willing to save the day for them and overextend their calendars.

This is a classic sign of unestablished boundaries. If we don’t want to feel taken advantage of or judged for grumbling and complaining, let our yes be yes and no be no. Setting boundaries protect us from being taken advantage of, establishes respect, and prevents unnecessary stress or anxiety. 

            Living with healthy boundaries means we won’t compromise our values for someone else’s. Instead, we understand and apply safeguard on what we value most and respect others the same. Healthy boundaries also mean we are not afraid to say “no” when necessary, nor get offended if another tells us no.

However, there is a flip side. Our boundaries can also become walls. Do you know the difference?

When we hide behind walls under the illusion of boundaries, it may look like this

“I’m just a private person” while we avoid building new relationships. “sorry, it’s been a while since we have connected; I’ve just been busy.” As we keep a safe distance from too many “friends .” We build walls of isolation, refusing to ask for help and maintaining a safe distance to prevent rejection. After a while, we realize that we have created a fortress of excuses to keep ourselves from being hurt. 

In our attempt to protect ourselves, We have hardened our hearts, fractured our spirits, and become lonely or bitter, wondering if we matter to anyone. We can often replay past hurts and justify our “boundaries,” but it all stems from pain and unforgiveness when we get to the root. One of the hardest things we must do is practice regular forgiveness. The Bible tells us to love our neighbor, and if we are hiding behind walls, we can’t do that. Nor did we ever forgive them for past hurts, leaving us captive to past pains and bitter hearts.

The good news is that no matter how big our walls are, God is with us. He is only a whisper away, waiting to take the walls down. However, that requires us to trust the Lord.

 Ezekiel 36:26  states, “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will remove your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.”

Suppose you are tired of living behind walls; it’s time to invite God into those broken places and let him restore your heart. It’s time to take a chance with people and practice healthy boundaries but be ready to forgive should someone cross the line (and they will).

Establishing healthy boundaries and trusting God will make things right when we’ve been wronged and allow us to live freely

Being a leader means you can cast vision, inspire change or greatness, motivate, solve problems, and get the job done. However, while there are perks to being in a position of influence, there is also a price to pay.

Leaders are held to a higher standard, must walk above reproach, and at times, will make less than popular decisions. But, unfortunately, those decisions can lead to tremendous amounts of stress, anxiety, and uncertainty.  

If you’re in this position, you may have the skillset and drive to make a difference. But skill set and drive are not enough to sustain you in adversity. We need something more. Something to feed our soul when the fire is running low. Something to help us keep on the right path and push on.

Joshua 1:5-9 says, “No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.  Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their ancestors to give them. Joshua 1:5-6 (NIV)

In this chapter, Joshua (Moses’s assistant) was charged to lead the people over the Jordan after Moses had passed. He went from assisting the leader to becoming the leader—all responsibilities for these people and decisions were now his to make. I am sure the stress was great as he thought of finishing the work Moses had started.

Joshua was there when the Israelites complained and watched as Moses interceded. He saw Moses act in his strength and witnessed all the times he got before the Lord for wisdom and guidance. He watched Moses both mess up as a leader and seek forgiveness. Joshua understood the weight of responsibility and so naturally had some fear.

But God encouraged him. In verses 7-9, He said, “Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go.  Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:5-9 (NIV)

I love the end of this verse, “Have I not commanded you?…” see If God put you in a position of leadership. If he opened the door for you to lead a company, a team, or a ministry of some sort, Then He has already paved the way for you to walk in that call and do it well. It requires strength and courage and complete confidence and trust in God, especially in our weakness. And it requires obedience.

 So, if you are in leadership and you are at a crossroads, I would encourage you to

1. Seek God in all circumstances and obey the direction he puts before you. (Even if it’s not the popular choice)
2. Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus, not on circumstance
3. Meditate on his word. Allowing it to come alive inside of you so we can pour it out.
4. Never compromise your character. The greatest leaders of the Bible followed God’s word. We are no different. Read and walk out the word. This way, you may be above reproach.

Lastly, remember God Commanded Joshua to be strong and courageous and told him that he would not leave nor forsake him. Like Moses & Joshua, he will also be with us. In our weakness, we need to choose to trust in the Lord and lean on him for understanding. In that posture, we will find strength, courage, and the ability to walk in peace. In our obedience, God will prosper us.

There is something to be said about a man who prays for his wife. — About the power of a man that loves the Lord and loves his wife fiercely.

My husband is an amazing man. One day while I was going to have a standard bone biopsy procedure, Matt sent me a text (as he often does). It read: “Hi babe, I am praying for you. I am praying that the procedure will be less painful and that you will be ok. I love you.”

 I smiled at the text and went to the hospital.

When I walked into the room, I was nervous about the amount of pain I would be facing. The  Dr. explained the procedure and the process she uses. She assured me that she would like me to have as little pain as possible. After explaining everything, she asked.

“What kind of music would help you get your mind off what is about to take place.”

 At first, I said it didn’t matter, but the Dr. was insistent. So I made my request, “Kari Jobe, when I am anxious, her music helps me refocus and have peace.”

With worship playing, we got started. 

Peace took over as the music played. The beginning was painful, but the doctor decided to be more generous with lidocaine, successfully numbed the area, and got a biopsy with minor pain.

I laid there thanking God for my husband interceding. I was aww at how God showed up and carried me thru that visit. Not because I did not feel God would be with me, but because my husband was in constant prayer for me. God showed up and showed me that Matt is my covering.

God reminded me that though I walk with an armor of great faith, that does not make me invincible to the pain that comes when fiery arrows penetrate armor. 

With every hit that penetrated this armor, I was left broken and bruised before God and my family. Matt has been covering me in prayer. He was interceding when all I had to offer was tears.

When I think of a man leaving his mother and father and cleaving to his wife, I think of how my husband carries me in prayer in my brokenness, how he speaks life to my dry places and encourages me to get alone with the Lord and sit in his presence. Cleaving to us does not solely mean detaching from “mommy and daddy influences” or being a good provider. But it also means to be that spiritual leader, to cover us and go before us, to stand with us in our weakness. It means while our spouses lead us by keeping their eyes fixed on Jesus and all he is doing. We should be doing the same.

No, husbands are not perfect, but guess what, neither are we. So keep loving them the way God asks of us, keep praying for them, especially in times of trouble, keep serving & respecting them and watch how God uses your husband to be a blessing to you just as you are to them.  

“In everything, set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness, and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.” Titus 2:7

Whether you are a teacher of God’s word or a teacher of any other subject in a school, your responsibility is great and does not stop at teaching a subject.  Teachers mold minds, touch hearts and develop character.

A couple of weeks ago, I sat across from my childhood best friend at our local Barns & Noble.

With a warm late in hand, we discussed family, life, and career changes. This woman is amazing.  She is a wife, mom of two wonderful boys, high school English teacher, and pursuing her masters. Yet, she is driven, organized, never stops developing herself, and is incredible at what she does.

While discussing obstacles we face in our careers; I said

“You don’t do what you do because “you make the big bucks”; why do you do it?”

Without hesitation, she responds. “To make a difference.”

Although that is an appropriate answer, I challenged her.

“I think it goes deeper. For example, when we were in high school, which one of our teachers inspired you?”

The conversation was terrific as we walked down memory lane and identified the teachers that had the most significant impact on our lives.  These teachers created a vision, inspired greatness, taught perseverance, stood beside us and NEVER above us. In addition, these teachers showed integrity, strength, wisdom, humility and ran their room with a firm hand when needed.

They challenged us to think critically, grow in our strengths, develop our weaknesses, and no matter what happens in life, never give up the pursuit of our dreams (there is always another way).

The lessons we learned molded us into the women we are today, and we could not be more grateful for all they poured into us.

 While we sat back and admired how amazing they were, I looked at her and said.

“someday, your students will sit in a coffee shop like this and say the same about you.  You are inspiring change, not just teaching English.  You are the product of what our teachers poured into us; because of that, you will make a difference.“

Our high school teachers modeled the example scripture set for us in and out of the classroom.  They did not beat us with a bible or preach to us.  They did not lecture us in God’s word or our religious preferences, even though we were in a private school.  But they instead modeled integrity and uprightness in their everyday behavior.  Their character was consistent, and they touched the lives of every student that came through those doors.

Some food for thought. If you have a child or children in school, pray for their teachers. Pray that they inspire from a place of love.  Pray that your children see integrity and strength, that their words will always uplift, encourage, and challenge their students. 

Continue to pray that each child’s life they touch would be a testimony to how God used them to make a difference and that they would not get weary in doing what is right.

Then take the time to give back by thanking them for all they pour into our children so selflessly.

“You are of God, little children, and have overcome them because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.” 1 John 4:4 ~NKJV

Can you imagine the power we would walk in if we truly believed that the God of the universe is in us and is greater than the problems of this world? What would it look like If we had half the resolve a child has at times?

Have you ever noticed the perseverance a child has when they are passionate about something? They refuse to give up until they have their way.  Now, of course, not everything they fight for is good for them, and it is our job to teach them safety, wisdom, reason, & patience. But we can often learn from them too.

            One afternoon I was catching up on life with a good friend.  It had been months since I closed my daycare, and I used to care for her kids.  So naturally, she had to share what her daughter was up to, and I could not wait to hear. Isla is a strong-willed, independent, beautiful little lady and full of sass.  Her mother would often joke that I could keep her for the amount of attitude the child has. 

 While we were talking, she said to me, “did I mention that Isla fired the moon?”

 I looked at her puzzled and said, “ugh, no?” she continued

 “Well, it was bedtime, and I called her to come to bed.  “Your daughter”( I know the sass is coming when she refers to her as MY daughter) ignored me, so I called her again, and she responded.”

“No thanks, mom!”

I said, “Isla, it’s time for bed. She looks at me and says

“Mom, I fired the moon” Smiles and kept playing.

I died laughing.  There was a problem, and Isla was happy to deliver a solution. Not only did she answer, but she believed that the power was within her to do such a thing. 

The image in my head was priceless. I could see one hand on her hip the other in the air waving while she looked at her mom very matter of fact to deliver the big news.   I am sure her mother did not find it as cute as I did, but I looked at her and said.  “She has leadership skills and is 100 your daughter! “  

Sometimes we need to look at life from a child’s perspective and be bold.

 “You are of God, little children, and have overcome them because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.” 1 John 4:4 ~NKJV

 We will face obstacles and have troubles, but they are not bigger than the God within us. Nothing can stand before us; we don’t already have the authority and power to put on notice. We just simply need to be willing to speak it out and declare it as is. 

What are the obstacles that are standing in your way? It’s time to start believing you have the authority to fire the moon and put your obstacles, challenges, and troubles on notice “because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.”