There is something to be said about a man who prays for his wife. — About the power of a man that loves the Lord and loves his wife fiercely.

My husband is an amazing man. One day while I was going to have a standard bone biopsy procedure, Matt sent me a text (as he often does). It read: “Hi babe, I am praying for you. I am praying that the procedure will be less painful and that you will be ok. I love you.”

 I smiled at the text and went to the hospital.

When I walked into the room, I was nervous about the amount of pain I would be facing. The  Dr. explained the procedure and the process she uses. She assured me that she would like me to have as little pain as possible. After explaining everything, she asked.

“What kind of music would help you get your mind off what is about to take place.”

 At first, I said it didn’t matter, but the Dr. was insistent. So I made my request, “Kari Jobe, when I am anxious, her music helps me refocus and have peace.”

With worship playing, we got started. 

Peace took over as the music played. The beginning was painful, but the doctor decided to be more generous with lidocaine, successfully numbed the area, and got a biopsy with minor pain.

I laid there thanking God for my husband interceding. I was aww at how God showed up and carried me thru that visit. Not because I did not feel God would be with me, but because my husband was in constant prayer for me. God showed up and showed me that Matt is my covering.

God reminded me that though I walk with an armor of great faith, that does not make me invincible to the pain that comes when fiery arrows penetrate armor. 

With every hit that penetrated this armor, I was left broken and bruised before God and my family. Matt has been covering me in prayer. He was interceding when all I had to offer was tears.

When I think of a man leaving his mother and father and cleaving to his wife, I think of how my husband carries me in prayer in my brokenness, how he speaks life to my dry places and encourages me to get alone with the Lord and sit in his presence. Cleaving to us does not solely mean detaching from “mommy and daddy influences” or being a good provider. But it also means to be that spiritual leader, to cover us and go before us, to stand with us in our weakness. It means while our spouses lead us by keeping their eyes fixed on Jesus and all he is doing. We should be doing the same.

No, husbands are not perfect, but guess what, neither are we. So keep loving them the way God asks of us, keep praying for them, especially in times of trouble, keep serving & respecting them and watch how God uses your husband to be a blessing to you just as you are to them.  

Some of us have been wounded by a close friend or coworker. Some are suffering the loss of a loved one, while others nurse the wounds family members have bestowed upon them out of anger or misunderstanding. But no matter the pain, it can happen in any season, causing strife, division, and unforgiveness.

So what do we do when the strife is knocking at our door? When hurt creates burning anger and resentment? Do you fight back, plea your case? Do you seek revenge and clear your name?

Today a friend asked how I was doing after the recent loss of my father.  I was instantly triggered playing over the family drama that recently occurred. A flood of emotions hit me from rage to sorrow as I explained how my immediate family was being wrongfully attacked, and I stayed silent, watching while the wounds continued to cut deeper.

She simply looked at me and said

“No, don’t go there. When situations make me want to lose my mind, I remember this; confidence is quiet insecurities are loud. You’re confident in this situation and don’t need to be loud, making drama, so all eyes are on you trying to prove your position. So let them be loud.”

Just like that, I was reminded of something I read this morning in my bible.   

2 Samuel 16, Shimiei (connected by family to former King Saul) came out swearing, name dropping, and throwing stones upon King David’s arrival to Bahurim. The bible says he was not alone in this action, but he had men on the right and left of him standing in agreement. This man and his crew were angry, felt their actions were justified and were not worried about consequences.

King David, on the other hand, handled it very differently. He had all the power to kill the man for such acts.  One of his men asked David’s permission to do just that. He was ready to vindicate the king from the harm this person was causing.  However, David’s response was much different.

But the king said, “…Let him alone and let him curse; for so the Lord has ordered him. It may be that the Lord will look upon my afflictions, and the Lord will repay me with good for his cursing this day.”  – 2 Sam 16:11b, and they continued their way.

David was a King.  He was in a position of power and influence; all he had to do was say the word, and Shimiei would have paid for his actions. But that’s not what happened. David did not use his power to prove or clear his name.  He did not engage in a fight or try to prove a point. Instead, he made his position clear and was confident in his decision.  His confidence was not in himself but in the God that goes before him.  That is why he told his men to stand down. They did not have to fight this fight.  God would turn this cursing into his blessing.

My friend was right confidence is silent, and insecurities are loud.  However, I would take it further and say humility is quiet.  Humility is confidence in who you are and who goes before you.  It’s not weakness but meekness.  It is strength given to you by God to trust him in the fire and have the confidence you will walk out whole.  Insecurities cause people to be irrational and make hasty decisions they later must fix.  Insecurity attempts to prove worth by calling and demanding attention on oneself to gain a sense of value and validation from others.  Insecurities are always loud. 

We can choose to fight insecurities by remaining quiet and confident, taking the posture of humility, and knowing God will vindicate us for any wrongdoing. 

Choosing to take the road least traveled may not be a popular choice.  However, if you continue to choose “confidence” (humility) over insecurities (proving yourself) at the end of each journey, there will be peace and promise for you.

Yes, you have dishes in your sink

And piles of laundry to be folded.

Dear mom, 

Yes, the kids are unruly

And yes, very demanding

Dear mom,

The phone doesn’t stop ringing 

And needs are endless

Dear mom,

Supper may be late

Your to-do list may not be done. But you haven’t failed

It will all be there when you get back.  

Shut the door to the mess and chaos.

Walk away. Take a breath and some time for yourself. 

Go for a run or work out. Hide in your room with a book or music. Take a walk or soak in the tub.

Dear mom,

Your well-being is just as important as everything else you “have” to do.  So, remember to take care of yourself because no one else will.