Being a wife and a mom has its challenges, but the truth is we are our own worst enemy. We have set a “perfect mom” bar of expectation that is impossible to attain.

How many of us have ever said this at the end of a long and frustrating day?

“Ugh, I failed again… it was takeout for dinner again because I have no time to cook, I lost my temper with my kids, took my frustration out on my husband, barely had the energy to help my friends or family; why can’t I be better?”

I am so guilty of this at times. But where does the desire to be “better mothers” come from? Are we comparing our lives to someone else’s that appears better in public? Are we comparing ourselves to the pains of our past, hoping we don’t make the same mistakes our parents had that caused us pain? Either way, we need to remember we are not perfect. We will fall short, but what we do in those moments matters. If we want to fall short less, we need to remember that love is kind. 

This week’s challenge is to love ourselves as much as we love others. Take the time to rejuvenate and refresh. Go to the gym, out for coffee, paint night, or read in peace. Whatever recharges your battery, carve out the time to do it consistently. This way, you are a little less short because you have filled your cup. Now you will have the energy and mental capacity to pour into others.

Being kind to yourself is not neglecting your children but showing them that you love them enough to give them your best, which means mommy needs to fuel herself to prevent mommy burnout.

Also, remember we are not perfect and will have days where our family gets our ugly side. Yup, you will lose your cool and fall short. But how you handle it matters. This February, remember Love is KIND. Own your shortcomings, ask for forgiveness, & let it go. Take a moment to hold them close, tell them you love them, and breathe.

Remove the “perfect mom” bar of expectation and set the bar of grace. It’s not easy to be kind to ourselves, but we can show our families the different dimensions of love with a bit of practice.